Who Shot British Prehistory in the Head?

If Academic Archaeology has become a bastion of science denial, who is to blame?

I realised British Archaeology was unwell, when I attended TAG 90, where the psychosis was already becoming evident. The Theoretical Archaeology Group, ;[or theoretical archaeologist group as I would characterise a group of academics temperamentally unsuited to practice archaeology, and for whom knowledge is not constrained by evidence or the English Language]; was a stepping stone for many who have subsequently helped fabricate the mindless melange of the New Post-rational Archaeology.

When, in 2006, I started my Ph.D. at Newcastle, a University so awful that even the staff had walked out, a small detail curiously omitted from their website, I had little idea how prevalent Science Denial had become. Not only was my engineering science of no interest, I was told to write about how buildings were perceived; in the Iron Age. While being ejected from a building bequeathed to the University by one of most region’s most famous engineering families, I had for a fleeting moment imagined that this bottom feeder of the academic system was just a venally corrupt nadir of mediocracy; but no, it's about par for the course.

Archaeology is an easy subject to dumb down, helping the University achieve the expected return on it’s property portfolio. Students are churned in their hundreds to find the next generation of credulous youth to maintain the tradition of copying out other peoples work in your best handwriting to obtain "research" funding.

What you learn at University is how to be a lecturer.  As a result, the standards in archaeology, as it descends further into mere infotainment, are scandalously poor on many levels, with publicly funded institutions routinely promoting science denial, myth and faith based archaeology.

For me, an essential prerequisite of a Theory is a dataset; but, given their monopoly, many academics have dispensed with the need for evidence and even the constrains of the English Language to revel in tautological self-indulgence and linguistic prestidigitation designed to conceal the nature of their conceits from those students & colleagues easily intimidated by a few polysyllables.

Let's Blame the BBC

However, I finally realised British academic archaeology was brain dead, when I chanced upon A History of Ancient Britain Series 1 Episode 3 Age of Cosmology. Even the title only makes sense if we completely redefine the Words "History" and "Cosmology" to mean the exact opposite of what they used to mean.

This is knowledge that is neither based on, or limited by, fact or meaningful language.  So I leave you in the capable hands of embryonic national treasure Dr Neil Oliver, as he and the BBC redefine the concepts of History, Cosmology, The Neolithic Revolution and intelligent thought, all in about 60 seconds.

The Life & Times of Charlie Thunderbird-Jones

I felt it was high time someone gave academics the sort of clap that they so richly deserve, although I am still working, if only to rob Universal Credit of another victim, However, as a birthday present to myself, {& in lieu of everything}, I have spent the last month working on a Major New Motion Picture Presentation of a Novel Graphic Pictorial Novelette Cartoon Video.

What started as a couple of dozen pocket cartoons has got out of hand, and developed a life of its own, or rather several bizarre and somewhat unpleasant lives of their own.
Now view on . . . .

...............................................................................................................[insert 4th wall here].......................................................................................................

TSA is proud to present:

The Adventures of Charlie Thunderbird-Jones 

– [Archaeologist Ordinaire from the infamous University of Tyneside].

This full colour mini-series was the departments attempt to persuade Dr Thunderbird-Jones to retire, however, the Corvid19 outbreak has effected their plans.  Paranoid Pictures have dropped the project and what we are left with a digitally compressed mini- box-set of the original story board, now sponsored by among others Granny Boogol Foods, Grizzled Maxwell Models, Gold Head Associates, and the Magic Mount eBank.

Warning; contains adult humour and scenes of an archaeological nature.

NOMINATED FOR 

THE

UNIVERSITY OF TYNESIDE 

DIGITAL GURNER PRIZE  

for meaningless Art

UT ARTS

NOTES.

The Life & Times of Charlie Thunderbird-Jones

The events depicted in this Cartoon are entirely fictitious and any 

resemblance to person and events, real or imagined, is entirely 

malicious,  made with duplicitous intent to ridicule, vilify and abuse 

persons who shall remain nameless, notwithstanding the inherent 

mendacity of this statement above & below, which lacks veracity, being 

wholly without any basis in fact.

While individual cases should be judged on their merits, it is clearly to 

be misunderstood that any / no { delete as appropriate} implication that 

any member of a University staff is a deceitful dishonest double-

dealing moron with the wit, intellect, moral veracity and genetic 

potential of a bivalve mollusc is entirely intensional or not as the case 

may be; period. 

By Watching this video {Insert name here} you are assumed to agree and 

fully support the to the following; a unanimous loss of all personal 

rights, privileges, privacies, personal data, medical history, 

embarrassing photographs, voting record, internet history and the 

complete exoneration of any persons associated with the University of 

Tyneside in any conceivable space, before, after or during any time 

specified.

No insult was intended to any Gods, God, Goddessess, Personal Deity, 

invisible friends; Divine, Celestial or Supreme Beings, Beings of 

light {excl. ectoplasm}; Members of the Heavenly hosts including 

‎Cherubs, Seraphs, ‎Archangels and Angels, {incl. Guardian}, Spirits, 

Demons {excl. personal}, {& excl. Ghosts & Jinns }, Avatars, Sages,  

Saints, Prophets {excl. Joseph Smith / Bob Dylan}, miscellaneous 

miraculously conceived Beings, real or imaginary.

Parish Notices: An exciting new blog, a Blogging Survey with a * Prize * + the future in the Stars

An exciting new blog to visit

For some time I have been discussing some interesting research with Michael Carter of Ryerson University; He has been working on a project to utilise modern graphics engines to build virtual Native longhouses. This site gives a run-down on development of the research;

www.theskonkworks.com

In particular the current state of the project:

http://theskonkworks.com/2015/06/longhouse-3-0/

This research touches on a many issues central to the use of modern computer graphics in the realisation of the past.  For my part, I am obliged by the limitation of deductive processes and reverse engineering to sidestep the issue; the intent of my practice is to understand the engineering principles behind a structure, with the classes of evidence available I cannot realistically understand its skin.  This is disappointing, because that is the vision that people think they want.   However, once you start imagining the past, there is a danger that pictures become more important than the evidence, because now they can be a lot more “real” than the archaeology.  For me the expression, recognition and understanding of doubt are significant issues.

Inside the mind of a New Archaeologist

In my view, the inability of conventional archaeology to interpret the majority of the excavated evidence from prehistoric sites, in particular postholes, has led to development of “New” archaeology, where academics study and become experts in those aspects of culture we don’t find.  In those countries like Netherlands and Germany, where their archaeology is better understood, their narrative of the Neolithic is generally  about agriculture, while in Britain it is more often expressed in terms of the perceptions, beliefs, rituals, personhood, and cosmologies.

Archaeo-toons; Secrets of Stonehenge Special

It is not that writing a book is boring, or that I am looking for displacement activities, it's just that I have pencils and paper that I have to use up before they reach their sell by date.

Stonehenge Festival

Archaeo-Horror

Starting the book today - but just time for some seasonally unpleasant Humour: 

There is nothing more horrific than realising you are the only sane one left; here are some special offers from my imaginary friends over at UTPress.

Seasonal Monster Book Sale - Prizes Slashed and Burned

University of Tyneside Press

Ancient Insights Series

Archaeo-toons

Another bout of compulsive cartooning has been brought on by more bad news on the work front, as another light at the end of the tunnel blinked out; leaving me alone in the dark, with a pencil....

Out and About

The Archaeology of a strange and alien land

As a professional archaeologist, I owe my existence not just to a planning system and government legislation that protects our heritage, but also, and more fundamentally, to a wider public interest in the past. This popularity is evidenced by highly rated series like Channel 4's Time Team in mainstream television schedules, as well as by specialist commercial channels like Discovery History, History, and Yesterday.
The BBC’s series a History of Ancient Britain, is an interesting proposition, not least because history is primarily based on written sources, and the program is mostly about prehistory, which, by definition, is not. I have already made my feelings fairly plain about the Age of Cosmology episode: It is a perfect example of the loss of rationality that afflicts much modern archaeological thinking and clearly informed this script.
If archaeologists start imagining beliefs, cosmologies, and perceptions for people who left no records, there is the real danger that our audience will lose faith in the narrative. However, one thing that I found most challenging, was one of the opening lines in the set up;

" . . .This Britain was a strange and alien world . . "

Cartoon Archaeology

As a break from postholes, here are some more cartoons to celebrate the holiday season, which always a bit of joke in England, not least because of the weather, especially if you are digging.

Ethno-archaeology

Is Post-Processual Archaeology a New Age Cult?

I recently suggested that post-processual archaeology was a faith-based approach that mystifies the evidence, but on reflection, thinking of it as a religion, is probably to exaggerate its objectivity. This time, I’m looking at the messages we're getting about, and apparently from, the past, and asking if this new archaeology a New Age cult?

I shall do this with the help Neil Oliver’s BBC program, History of Ancient Britain, which has, through no fault of its own, been singled out to be my Auntie Sally. His program is more than just a warm glass of intellectual Drambuie on a Sunday night, but actually reflects some state of the art archaeological thinking, as one might expect of the BBC.[1]

For the sake of balance I will try to explain why some archaeologists have painted themselves into the corner of their yoga mats, and readers should be warned be there maybe some intellectual cartoon violence, and outbreaks of Kermodian ranting.

The archaeology of perception

This is my favourite cartoon; it is by the late Bernard Kliban, a New York cartoonist, and one of the founding fathers of the modern cartoon, and in my opinion, a genius of his art. Sometimes the world becomes so strange and distorted, that it takes cartoon to get it into perspective.

Angst, archaeology, and academics

Apologies for the recent break in transmission, but, as this article will hopefully explain, working in isolation for a long period on one topic can take its toll on your well-being. The previous articles form something of a sequence, and we have reached an important juncture, and the cause of much of my stress. But the time has now come to clear the decks of the emotional debris of a difficult journey, re-batten the hatches, get up to ramming speed, and set the controls for the heart of one the most central issues in British Prehistory.

In short, why Woodhenge, and similar structures, were buildings and how they worked.

The idea that previous generations grew trees and placed them in the ground to create a built environment does not, on the face of it, sound like a controversial proposition.

31. Primitive Rituals

I hope you read article no. 30. That’s where I let slip that ‘timber circles’ were buildings, some roundhouses were multi-storey, and Hadrian had a timber wall for while -- so you know I’m not here for the beer. But I wish we both down the pub; we could have a chat about all this, a dialogue where we could respond to each other. It would be good: I like you a lot already; you have had the good sense, taste, and intellectual interest to invest your hard won browsing time in reading this blog.

Speaking of beer, back in some golden summer of British archaeology, before the invention of health and safety, when the only unit of alcohol of note was a pint, muddy people would sit in pubs and have conversations about what they had just dug up, and what it all meant. If it was not obvious, at some point someone would say “it must be ritual then,” and we would all laugh, and then someone would be sent for to the bar for some more inspiration.

And now for the news, . . in Turkish

As a respite from postholes and the recession, I bring you some light relief from a Turkish Website with auto generated content. The site was in meltdown last time I visited, so in the interests of promoting the web a source of reliable information and scholarship, and in a spirit of international understanding- I give you verbatim this version of my last article as it appeared on a Turkish website:

1300 REDUNDANCIES IN UK ARCHAEOLOGY; THE PLIGHT OF ARCHAEOLOGISTS IS RAISED AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL.


Author: admin
Filed under: news in english [!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

As an archaeologist in a apocalyptic state, we have motionless to post an comment of a brand new contention in a House of Lords about a apocalyptic state of British archaeology, general readers unknown with a investiture competence find it engaging to see who contributes to such a discuss . . . .